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It Starts With Your Mind

If you have an ‘internal locus of control’, then that means that you recognize just how responsible you are for the quality of your life and your accomplishments. Many people have a tendency to blame others, to blame circumstances, or to make excuses when things don’t go their way. Why aren’t you happy? It’s because you had a hard childhood! Why aren’t you rich? It’s because you weren’t born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or because you lost your job due to lay-offs.

Making excuses is easy but it doesn’t get anywhere. The reality is that people have dug themselves out of holes much deeper than the one you’re in right now – I don’t care who you are – and they have come out richer, happier and stronger.

So, what is the all-important ingredient? It’s you.

And more specifically, it’s your mind. Your mind is where everything else comes from. Your beliefs, your focus, your concentration, your mood – all of that. What’s more, is that where your mind leads, your body follows.

If you are low on energy, then you might be inclined to think that it’s time to make changes to your diet or to your training regime. In all likelihood though, it is your mind that needs fixing first.

Everything in life is dependent on numerous other factors. Whether you’re talking about relationships, about your career or about your financial situation. How can you find your dream job when you don’t have the option to leave your current job? When you’re so broke?

And how can you stop being broke when you are so badly in debt?

But change has to start somewhere. And it starts with you. It starts with your mind.

A better job, starts with the mind.

A better relationships, starts with the mind.

A better LIFE, starts with the mind!

Here’s a little saying to keep in mind:

The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it!

Time to Change Your Mind

This is all very good and well, but how exactly do you go about changing your mindset? How do you take back control, reclaim your happiness and start living a fulfilling and inspiring life again?

The thing to do is to diagnose the problem. What exactly is wrong with your mind to begin with? And how can you fix those issues?

Well, not to alarm you, but there’s probably a lot wrong with your mind. Don’t worry though: it’s fairly common and it’s very much a sign of the times.

I can guess that you aren’t completely happy with where you are right now. Maybe you don’t like who you are right now. I know this because you’re reading this book.

If what you’re doing right now is working for you then great! But if it’s not, or if it could be working better, then something needs to change.

Here are some starting points that can help you see precisely what you might need to change.

#1 Responsibility

The first problem that many of us have is that we don’t take responsibility for our actions and we don’t want to take responsibility for our actions.

Now we all know people who don’t like taking responsibility – they will blame others and they will make excuses for what they’ve done. These are the people with the external locusts of control that we have already discussed.

But while this might seem like an irritating problem for people around them, the reality is that this is a much deeper issue that affects them more than it does anyone else.

Because a completely refusal to accept responsibility means that you also reject your own autonomy and your control. If you believe that nothing is your fault, then you also really can’t take credit for anything that goes well. Moreover, it means that you don’t have any power over your life and it means that you can’t choose to change things.

It’s not up to you, it’s up to chance!

It gets worse too. If you are too used to avoiding responsibility, then chances are that you will avoid taking responsibility for other things in your life too. That means you’ll avoid making commitments to people, which might make you feel ‘free’ but ultimately means you get left behind as those around you settle down into relationships and find fulfilling careers.

It means you’ll put yourself forward for fewer tasks in the work place – at least those tasks that have any major consequences. And if you aren’t responsible for large amounts of money, then you can’t expect to get paid large amounts of money either.

Being afraid of responsibility will even make you less impressive, decisive and confident in a day-to-day scenario. When someone asks you to make a decision, you won’t want to because you won’t want to be responsible for what happens if you get it wrong.

And unfortunately, life has made it all too easy for us to learn this lack of responsibility. We are sheltered by so much technology and for the most part, life has become much easier. Our childhoods have also become extended to a massive degree and especially in the current generation of youths. These days many of us will stay at school until we are 18 and will then attend college for 3, 4 of 6 years after that depending on the amount of qualifications we obtain. Throw in a gap year and some time ‘finding our feet’ and many of us don’t begin our careers until we’re in our mid-to-late-twenties.

This was exacerbated by the economic crash of the last decade. Many people leaving college struggled to find work, which left them without workplace responsibilities and very often still living with their parents. Generations previous were likely married homeowners with children at this point.

And it’s hard to ditch this mentality. It’s hard to stop being a perpetual child. And while there are positive sides to this (it’s good for creativity, for dreaming and for enjoyment in the moment), ultimately life will catch up and we won’t be prepared. We are too soft mentally to cope with the challenges that will come our way. We’ve lost the ability to be decisive, strong, action-takers.

What can you do to fix it? We’ll explore this in more depth in some of the other reports but the key to acknowledge is that you must learn to accept the possibility of a less-than-perfect outcome. Accept that there will be times when things go wrong and it’s your fault. And when that does happen, be willing to put your hand up and admit it.

That’s what it means to be an adult. And that’s what will give you the strength to start taking more chances and making more bold decisions.

#2 We Care Too Much What Others Think

Ultimately, number one comes down to doing away with fear. This is another topic we’re going to address more over the coming reports but for now let’s hone in on one very specific example of fear, one very specific cause.

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