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Chapter 6 Build Compassion
One of the key components of a successful relationship is being compassionate towards one another. When you feel like your relationship is lacking this one important aspect, this is the best time for you to start learning how you can put compassion back to you and your partner's lives.
A Relationship with Compassion is a Relationship with Happiness
People who are compassionate are people who are happier. Couples feel compassion for one another have more understanding and joy in their relationships. Compassion, the combination of consideration, kindness, concern, and empathy, is considered as the cornerstone for people who want to have a fulfilling love life.
When you feel down and sad, the simplest gesture of compassion from your partner can already bring so much difference to your mood. Encouraging words and warm hugs can already vanish any discomfort that you might feel. Having someone to hold your hand, giving you the emotional support you need through staying by your side, can easily ease away any pain, whatever it might be about.
Relationships that lack compassion tend to be harsh. Once this happens, interactions will be less caring, leading to the building up of resentments that can make you feel as if you are the only one who is in that relationship.
Development and expression of compassion can establish a safe zone for your love as well as other feelings and issues which might come your way. Nothing can replace your partner’s sympathy or soft touch. This is something that can heal the two of you, something that creates that emotional security that you have never even thought you needed in the first place.
Building compassion is very easy, with desire being the first element. Here, it is important to ask your partner about the needs that he or she might have and then explain your very own needs. Through such discussion, it will be easier to show compassion to one another because both of you know where your energy should be focused.
The second thing that might be a bit challenging is to commit yourself to always keep compassion intact in any dialogue. A compassionate relationship is devoid of harshness and once this actually occurs, the two of you need to pinpoint and shut this down right away so that you will be able to return to relating using the right manner.
A simple but effective exercise for enhancing compassion is looking into one another’s eyes. While movies might have extremely romanticized this action, this seldom happens in the modern relationships. Instead of looking intently on the television, stop and look deeply into your partner’s eyes and sense the emotions that he or she has in order to create more compassion and depth.
It is good to show compassion but it is better to be compassionate. If your mate shares a problem with you and you show concern, you make your partner aware that you will not only be there but at the same time, you also care about what your partner is going through. It is something that your partner will feel and will also return this kind of gesture in the same way that you did.
Make sure that you build and practice compassion as an essential part ofyour day to day loves. Nothing is more palpable than knowing that your partner cares for you in the same way that you do.
Chapter 7 Change Your Mindset Thinking Before You Speak
Saying the wrong words at the wrong time can wreak havoc on any relationship. Before you open your mouth and blurt things out, it is important to think things over to avoid hurting the feelings of your partner. There are tips that you can keep in mind in order for you to follow this kind of mindset.
Choose Your Words and Choose Them Wisely
Even the simplest words can inspire loyalty, uplift hearts and change people’s lives. They can give life to dead things or they can also mutilate what used to be whole hearts. Words can also be an assassin to a character, estrange a soul and show undue kindness and cruelty.
In any relationship, thinking before you actually speak is a must due to the words’ awesome and sometimes destructive power. All relationships have its own share of emotional garbage and unresolved issues which can affect them on a negative way. For the preservation of a relationship and make this thrive, thinking about the things you will say is essential as well as considering whether the words you will speak are coming from a loving and kind heart or a heart that flows with bitterness, rage, anger, and other unproductive emotions.
Once unkind phrases and words escaped your mouth, you can never take them back. Even if you try hard to say something different or something better, or fix the damage caused by the words you said in the heat of an argument, there is no means for retracting them, even if you try really hard. The damage is done. However, there is still hope and that is by thinking before you even speak.
One important thing to remember is to consider first the effect that your words can have on the other person. Will it make them feel bad? Will it lessen their confidence in themselves? Such things should be taken in consideration to avoid hurting feelings.
Saying things involves timing and you have to remember that timing is everything. Avoid saying negative things during emotional or hectic times. Never start any heavily emotional conversation if there is no adequate time to talk things out.
Consider your motives for speaking. If you just want to say something for the sake of speaking, then, think again. Will the words sound unkind? Should you just leave them as they are, unsaid so as to avoid any negative emotions? It is important to have true and good motives for speaking.
Thinking before you speak is vital for any relationship as there is no way to take the words back. Once a heart is broken, it will be broken no matter how much you try to put the pieces back.