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It is natural for human beings to compare themselves with others. If this didn’t take place then nobody would be able to see how well they are doing. Most people do not use comparisons in a good way and end up causing themselves all kinds of problems.
Unhealthy comparisons can cause low self esteem, dependency and even depression. If you are constantly comparing yourself with others and becoming bitter and angry then you need to stop doing it.
The techniques in this guide will help you to stop comparing yourself with others in a negative way. You will need to work on these techniques to perfect them so that everything is on autopilot. There is no miracle solution.
How do you really think about yourself? We all have an opinion about ourselves and this is a very important step to take if you want to stop comparing yourself with others in a negative way. You need to be aware of the root cause as to why you keep comparing yourself in an unhealthy way.
This is not the easiest thing to do but you must do it. It is essential for you to break the pattern that you have of negative comparisons with others. You can ask a trusted friend or family member to help you with this task and support you through the process.
Write down how you see yourself at the moment. This will help you to identify the behavior that you need to change. Accept the fact that changing this behavior is going to take time and effort and break everything down into smaller achievable steps.
Having low self esteem is a major reason why people make negative comparisons with others. Self esteem is all about the feelings that you have for yourself. You are going to have some negative feelings and some positive feelings. If the negative feelings far outweigh the positive feelings then you definitely need to work on your self esteem.
If you tend to let others control how you feel then this is a sign of low self esteem. You do not want to be reliant on others to feel happy about your life. It is a good idea to work on improving your self esteem every day regardless of how you feel about yourself at this current moment.
When you feel the need to compare yourself to others write down your thoughts and feelings about this. Why did you want to compare yourself to somebody else in the first place? As soon as you experience these thoughts then write them down. Add as much detail as you can.
If you have already made the comparison then ask yourself how you felt about it. Be sure to record all of the feelings and thoughts that you have about this. Be specific here and write down the exact reasons for feeling down about a comparison. For example a co--worker got a promotion before you did.
This is not always easy to do but certainly worth the effort. Think back to a time when you didn’t feel the need to compare yourself with others. Write this down in your journal and keep thinking about the time when you started to make regular comparisons.
This is powerful because it can help to identify the root causes behind your comparison habit. For example you may have compared yourself to your sister in a negative way because you felt that she got more attention from your parents than you did.
Often people do not realize the damage that negative comparisons do to them. When you write down how a comparison makes you feel then you will develop the necessary motivation to change this destructive habit.
Most people take the things that they already have in their life for granted. So we recommend that you record a gratitude statement in your journal every day. This will certainly help you to focus on yourself more than you do others.
Think about the positive things in your life that you are truly grateful for. You are healthy, you have a loving relationship, you have wonderful children, you have great family and friends, you have a job so that you can pay your bills and so on.
Write down three things that you are grateful for in your journal every day. When you do this reflect on how lucky you are to have them. Use statements like “I am so grateful to have my health” or “I am so grateful to have my family”. This will help you to realize that there are a lot more things in your life that are more important than having a new car for example.
One of the real downsides of comparing yourself in a negative way to others is that you identify reasons why you are not as good as they are. This is nonsense of course but in the moment these feelings are very strong.
This can result in you beating yourself up severely and telling yourself that you are not good enough, useless or worse. Instead of doing this praise yourself for who you are and how far you have come. This will put you in a positive frame of mind and inspire you to do more with your life.
Never forget that you are in control of your life. It can be really difficult to stop comparing yourself to others in a bad way but the only person who can change your life for the better is you. So take responsibility to do that and stop letting others control you.
Stop worrying about what other people have in their lives. You are the most important person in your life and if you are not happy with things as they are then decide that you are going to change. The world does not owe you anything and neither does anyone else.
This is an essential step to prevent you from comparing yourself to others in an unhealthy way but it is also the toughest. You have built up this need to compare yourself over several years and these kinds of patterns are the hardest to break. But break them you must.
It will help you when you understand the process involved with making changes to your thoughts and behaviors. The process comprises of a number of stages that increase awareness of the problem and then implementing the necessary change for improved behavior.
The first of these stages is called pre--contemplation. At this stage you are not ready to make any changes and this is usually due to the fact that you do not have enough information about the problem and why you should change.
Next is the contemplation stage where you are thinking about making a change in your thoughts and behavior. You start to think about the positive aspects of making such a change while also realizing that this can be quite painful to do.